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tipp fest   
06:00pm 05/08/2002
mood: giddy
I had so much fun. I'm going to ware the crown every where. i'll never stop. we all hung out at the bridge most of the time and it was alot of fun it felt like we all got along again like last summer. I wish shay and james could hae come it woud have been cool but i still had fun. and then we came over to my house and my mom came down stairs and played guitar in front of every one and embarrised me. but it was still cool it wasn't that bad i'm not like hateing her for it or any thing i just wish she didn't astay so long. Then she left and we hung out my mom told them to leave at like 1:30 or 2 and we went to bed. that was neat b/c i'm not usually aloud to have the male gender in my room after 11. then last night dana and liz sayed over again and we hung out at the bridge again and had more fun adn i loved it. and we rented movies and come home and watched them after we left there. and i usually have to be home at like 10 or 11 but i didn't come hom untill 12 and nothing happend. it's great!! haha.
then there is some shit going down with krystal that isn't cool. STOP TALKING BAD ABOUT US...bitch *says in small voice*. but it is pretty cool that we got every ones attention that is always fun. The whole point of dressing up is so ppl will say we look rediculous we don't need you to feel bad for us or what ever you were saying. but if you want to you cn i geuss or you can just join us next year it's really fun. you might be to ocupied hanging out with your friends and drinking though. but what ever you want to do.
well i'm done wasting time on that none of it is going to mater in the long run we will never be friends again so i shouldn't even try being nice. well i think this is the longest entry in a while so i'm going to stop writting.
dust :)
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02:13pm 02/08/2002
mood: excited
never mind i'm happy again well for now. the tipp feast is tomarrow and it's giong to be alot of fun there is no time to be sad i have to get somthing togather to ware there. well i'm off bye
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05:48pm 01/08/2002
mood: depressed
i don't knw what i'm doing to myself but it's not going to stop untill it's done. i'm getting destroyed and i can do nothing to make it stop. i just want to be happy again but it's ging to take a whil to get ut of this. i don't know what to do. i'm weak and i can't controll my actions. i just want to sit in the dark and cry. if it keeps goingon like this i don't know what i'm going to do it's going to get worse i know it is. then i might want to kill myself and i won't beale to stop myself. i need help. i have said this amny times but nothing helps. i just want to stop thinking. thats whats doing it to me. i want to jump out of my skin. but i can't so i'm just going to hid my self under the blankets of sorrow. well i'm going to go later
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Im not, not sure, not to sure, how it feels...   
09:04pm 31/07/2002
mood: crazy
Nothing really to speak of, i love my best freind Sara, shes the Turtle Turtle GODDESS! MWAH HAHA! i miss you love! we're the bestest frnied in the whole world.
Remember today, i've no respect for you, and i miss you love
indeed we're lost, i mean look at us, we're sex starved convicts, looking for a pieces of virgin meet. Sacrificed.. Then again we'll steal some cars, and walk throughout the night down the crime filled streets of Tipp.. Jesus god!!! spinning, make sure i dont fall in the ditch.. OOPS! i know we dont want to do it, but it'll be fun, stealing cars.. thats wrong, it'll be fun, LISTEN TO YOURSELF MAN! EMOTION SICKNESS what makes train spotting good.. i'll tell you Scottish men, Heroin, and Euwen McGregger SARA!!!! omg! im going crazy in here!!!!! school starts soon, WE'LL TAKE OVER THE WORLD MWAH HAHAHAHH

05:05pm 23/07/2002
mood: hopeful
so much i need to say but i can't find the words to say it......... :(
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09:10pm 22/07/2002
mood: amused
today was good
11:03pm 16/07/2002
mood: blank
today i got into a big fight with my mom witch isn't unusual rigth now b/c she has been eating turds lately. but we got most of settled untill she goes off again. she can't yell at my dad any more so she takes everything out on me and that isn't cool and i get sad. but i stoped myself from slipping into depression again so i'm just in a blank mood. i know i have said this before but i AM giong to stop smoking it's going to be hard b/c of all the pressure my mom puts on me but i have some motivation now. for the first time ever i ran to my dad for suport. like i was all complaining to him about my mom and that has never happend b4. it's the other way around. but it was good. i was going to say that i couldn't wate for josiah to get on line but he already did lol. so i'm going to go and talk to him
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wishfull thinking   
09:29am 09/07/2002
mood: blah
i wish i was smarter
i wish i was prettier
i wish i was creative
i wish i was stronger
i wish i was nicer
i wish i was meaner
i wish i had all the answers
i wish i could stop time
i wish i was a super hero
i wish i was wealthy
i wish i had alot of food
i wish i didn't eat so much
i wish i wouldn't write such stupid stuff (shifts eyes)
i wish i could make every one happy
i wish i could heal anything
i wish i could sleep
i wish i was smaller
i wish i was famous
i wish i had some kind of talent
i wish i could be happy with myslef......
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03:20pm 29/06/2002
mood: sad
what happend to my journal??
it's all stupid now...
fix it!!!! fix it now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:( i don't like it
03:06pm 29/06/2002
mood: happy
07:09pm 11/06/2002
  I'M NOT GROUNDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm very happy about that. i just can't do any thing tonight so that isn't all that bad. man i am tired. urg.i can't really think of any thing to say... so i'm goin got go later  
07:06pm 15/05/2002
I'm tring to quit smoking!! haha i bet no one would even have though i would! it's hard i'm doing okay with it though. And school is almost out so that is good... and i have a cd burner now! yay!!! haha. But liek half of my songs aren't in the folder i want them to be in and i don't know how to get them in the folder so i can't download them. they are like all the good songs too! oh well haley will figure it out or some one wil i hope!!i'm starting to make some more friends in school. They are like clean too haha. i never thought i would have happend. they ride too. it will make me feel more comfortable b/c most of my other friends do. well i'm goin gto go eat so later
ahhhh hahaha ahahahah hahaaha   
04:50pm 24/04/2002
mood: bored
there is no real reason why i am luaghing.... i greatly amused by NOTHING. i am at my grandmas house... wating to go home... it is 4:32 and i want to go home very much so..... i don't know where my parents are... i want to go shopping more... my grandma gave me $200 and said to buy clothes and such with it.. and i really want to spend it.. alot. adn i haven't had a somke all day so that would bew nice too. i got these pants that make my ass look so huge! like i would always look at myslfe adn say ya if it gets ne bigger it would be big right now it's borderline and i can still cover it up with the pants i ware. well today i found out that is a lie. my ass is just big. *cries* it's not really my ass it's my thieighs i hate them i just wish i could cut them off!! hummm i wouder where they could be they said that i was goingto have to go to school tomarrow but mayb e i could get out of going... no i don'ty think that i want to. but i really want to go shopping i'm in the mood to go. that never happens well it does but then i never find ne thing and i get all pissy.. but today i was findihng stuff and i was great i just want to go!!!! errr.... i bet they come back at like 5 or 5:30 god then we'd get home about 7 or 7:30 so they wouldn't want to take me shopping then. they would be all like "we just want to get home we got up early today and blah blah blah" and i'm all like SHOPPING!!! haha well if we went home it wouln'd be that bad... then i could have a smoke... i was thinking that i might quit? i don't know it's going to be really hard and i love them so much!
i'm going to quit every thing though. all my 'bad stuff' then i have to foucus on somthing. but i don't know what. SO i just might give up on thinking about it and continue to smoke. but i will stop every thing else?
i don't know. but the more i talk about not smoking the more i start to crave one.. ahhh!! oh i am so board! i hate it. i'm going on forever about NOTHNG and no one is going to read it ne way they might skim through it but they won't sit and read all of it and if they do i will never know b/c i never get ne comments! i give them all the time i do! but i must not be cool enough. oh god! jfdw;ojjewrfijr!!! i can't sit here ne mroe! i'm going to go for a walk but i'm sure i'll be back soon later
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03:06am 21/04/2002
i have not updated in a while. so.. nothing much has went on. i don't really think there are ne cool ppl at my school. and evey one that i did thin kwas kinda cool isn't.... i'm going to regreat writeing that if some one from my school sees it.. so if i show my journal to some one in my school then i wasn't talking about you.... but i probally was :) okay now that is gayness is done i will talk of...tyler. yes tyler. he a perve that tries to get up on my moms juck. AND i think that he molests cats all the time like one time i look at his hand and there was cat hair in his finger nails... and i saw some naked cat pix under his bed... that sicko. i bet he humps them and makes them call him bitch. OH MY GOD!!hhahah i was watching tv adn this fat black chick comes on and she all like "ya i like kinky sex i'm all like letting him hit it from the back side *she makes a gay face adn starts moning* and then shes like adn then i tell him to talk dirty to mew and call me a bitch *then she asy bitch in a man voice adn starts making the gay pleasure face and screams* SHE WAS SERIOUSLY SO FAT! AND BLACK!!
hahah i laughted SO hard and and then i changed it b/c it was so gay. then like earler today we went to my grandmas and on the way home we got ice cream at a little stand and we orderd so much shit and she was fucking up the order and she gave me a small mault and i was like i orded a medium adn she's liek oh well i'll get you a new one and i'mm all lie kno it's okay and she wouldn't give it to me adn i was all like grabbing for it so she puts it on the courner and slides the glass thing so i can't get it and i openit and grab it real fast and put my mouth on it b4 she can even say ne thign!@! hahaha i got it for free!! it was cool! haha we were all laughing and she was flustered and didn't know what to do hahaha it was good well i'm off later
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sick?!!? NO!   
09:37pm 03/03/2002
  i think that i am staring to get sick... i dnot like it  
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no more cigerettes for sara :(   
09:07pm 28/02/2002
mood: tired
I'm SO tired adn i have to wate fro dustin to get here b/c we have been planing it for lik a week adn he said he'd call b4 he left and he still has't called. and i'm going to fall asleep. i got up early this morning and ive been on here that whoel day and my eye hurt adn i just want to go to sleep but if i tell him not to come he's going to bit my face off so i'l sit and wate.... TELL HIM TO HURRY!!!! tomarrow is going to suck if i'm tired at school i hate when that happens b/c then i'm all *blah* and dead. and i just slep in all my classes and don't talk to any one adn that not exciting at all. i have one cig left so he better come son and bring some smokes too. if not i'm busting caps. god! i have to walk him home to! i'm nt giong to get to sleep till like 358345:30am. okay i think that i am going to smoke this now.... i'm giong to look liek shit tomarrow and i hate that then i feel like shit..errr i never win. I GET TO SE MY LOVE TOMARROW!!!
yep thats right in science. i bet they are crying right now all cold adn neglected underneath the computers thinking about how much they miss me. yep that is what they are doing... THE JANITOR ALWAYS MOLESTS THEM!!!! adn i'm not there to protect them! they relay on SARA PLANET to save them and i can't do it this time:(
GOD! im so bard adn tired i'm ging to fall asleep! OH NO MY CIGERETTE IS GONE. my life is over now. what am i going to do?!?!? now smokes no paper towls none here.....except my bed....NO! i can't do it i have to be tuff! i think that i will go lay on the couch and watch tv and wate for the phone to wake me up. maybe he won't even call and i can sleep on the couch FOREVER muahahaha. okay i give up
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nothing worse...   
02:15pm 28/02/2002
mood: hyper
OH i am so board! but i'm in a really god mood and i'm realy hyper and there is nothing worse then being board and hyper. god i wish every one would get out of school soon! i'm thinking about taking my hair down it looks really gay. NO! i lied i'm not going to do it. if i do it's going ot pull al the little hairs and it will hurt. so i'm not going to do it. but i might smoke a cig... yes thats a good idea... i'll brb
okay i'm back
there is nothing worng with eating boggers!
they are good... and salty...
EWW! Thats just gross i made myself sick!
haha but you do it all the time
i have it on tape i'm going to show grandma too. Okay i won't but if you make me mad i'll do it i sware! some one better coment on one of my entries that i did today b/c i have been writeing a lot in here. yes this is a good thing to do when board. there isn't hardy any snow on the ground how can we not hae school today!?!?! err i'm mad about it. i didn't even sleep in! i went to bed at like 1 b/c i figured we would have school and we didn't so i wen to bed early and every thing well thats not realy early but i could have stayed up alot later. i'm going to have the whole house to my self tonight! yay. ten i can watch some porn! haha. i wish i lived closrer to haley so we could hang out after school.
if you had to choose between never having tooth paste agin ornever having paper clips what would you choose???
i would choose to not have clothes!
then i would run arounfd NAKED every where... eww
never mind that i think i would chooes not to have crabs any more... WHAT?!?!!? NO I DON'T!
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"It's better to regret somthing you did then somthing you didn't do"   
01:39pm 28/02/2002
mood: cheerful
Okay i was reading my friends page and saw an entry that i wasn't to keen on. Okay your past will only haunt you if you let it. If i am having fun while doing something that puts a bad lable on my name i don't care as long as i am having fun while doing it. And if i do change my mind about "love" whitch i do not belive in, i'm not going to be ashamed about my past. Because i was having fun and i won't let somthing that was fun ruin my fun in the future. If ppl still want to call me a whore thats thier own fault i don't care. it just shows me who i should and shouldn't hang out. i don't regret any thing i have ever done in the past. I ues it as somthing to learn from, not somthing to be ashamed of. that is where me and you differ i guess. as long i have some friends it will b fine. And i will always have friends. i have the ones from my childhood that don't judge me and are always there for me. And i hope i will always have haley. I don't think she'll ever leave me and i have the friends at my new school. And even if they don't come through it's not like i can't make more. i am an out ging person and don't have much trouble making new friends. Just b/c you turned your past into shame doesnt maen i am going to. I handle things differently.
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12:33pm 28/02/2002
mood: happy
that was a pome i wrote for my paper towls. no one else can have them OR ues them. adn when i'm gone there will be no nose blowing or i WILL bust out a tooth. no one is goning to treat my paper towls like a whore and blow thier loads on them. okay i am done talking about that.
we don't have school today so i am very board. i can't wate til tis week is over then i can be with my haley! i put my hair up and it looks very dumb BUT i'm not goig to take it out b/c i am a lazy pice of shit. YOU CAN'T STOP DIS.
water is the most important thing in the world. I wounder if it feels special. I would. If it wasn't for water we would all be dead. What if you were need that bad? Would you love it?? I would. I wish i coud be a glass of water once. Then i culd sit out in the desert ad wate for some one to crawl up to me dying of thirt and i would run away. THEN they would chase me and i would keep running away and laugh.
...Then they would die.
well i'll be bacl later
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to my love   
12:27pm 28/02/2002
  I fell in love with a roll of paper towles today
every one was laughing at me and saying i was gay
but i don't care what they say
as long as they don't take my love away
we will sing dance and play
every thing will be okay
we'll be togather forever!
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